The Therapeutic Relationship

The therapeutic relationship is the most important factor in therapy. Here’s why – For the client to be able to share their inner thoughts, fears, trauma etc, they need to feel safe. For the client to feel safe, they need to not feel that they are being judged, they need to feel the empathy from the counsellor and that the counsellor is being genuine. Carl Rogers, A founder of the humanistic approach, believed that if the client can preserve these qualities from the counsellor, then therapeutic change will happen.

The client may have to see 1,2,3 or more counsellors before they feel safe enough to share their world and that is okay! Relationships in general whether it’s friendships, girlfriends, boyfriends, partnerships, you search to find the right person, it’s the same for counselling. Find the counsellor that best suits you.

As well as the client feeling understood without judgement, sense the counsellor’s empathy and notice the genuineness of the counsellor, there is another factor to consider.. The subconscious! This is the edge of awareness part of your brain that lingers with unmet thoughts/judgements without knowing or understanding why (until you have therapy or sit with it to understand it).. Ohh the irony… Here’s an example of this – You have met a new counsellor, have had a couple of sessions, you think yeah, they are really nice but there is just something stopping you from opening up or “going deeper”. It may be that subconsciously, they remind you of someone, be it their smile, the way they talk, their body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, their perfume/aftershave etc etc.

Lets face it, could you share your trauma with someone who reminds you of your Aunt Petunia, or the strict teacher that smells the same as your counsellor.

You can view my Sussex based counselling services that I offer here. I offer zoom counselling so you can be wherever and still have access to me as your Counsellor: